Why Your Therapy Space Needs to Become a "Yes Space" (And How to Make It Happen)

You know that constant low-grade stress you feel during sessions, the one where you're hovering, redirecting, and saying "no" every few minutes? The one that leaves you absolutely drained by the end of the day, even when nothing major happened? There's a reason for that and it has everything to do with how your therapy space is set up.

When our environments require constant management and vigilance, we're spending all our energy on crisis prevention instead of connection. If we can't regulate, our students definitely can't either. Today, I want to introduce you to a concept that's going to change how your sessions feel for both you and your autistic students. It's called a yes space.

In this post, I'm breaking down what a yes space actually is, why it's essential for child-led therapy, and how you can start creating more "yes" in your sessions even if you're working in a busy classroom, a shared therapy room, or someone else's space. You'll walk away with practical strategies you can implement this week to reduce friction, build trust, and make your neuroaffirming approach actually sustainable.

What Is a Yes Space?

A yes space is exactly what it sounds like: an environment that's been intentionally designed so that a child can explore, try things, and take risks safely. It's a space where pretty much anything they could do is something you'd feel comfortable saying yes to.

I first heard about yes spaces in parenting circles; the idea that playrooms should be set up so kids can direct their own ideas, move freely, climb, and even dump everything out without adults having to hover and stress. The point is to create a safe container where kids don't need constant redirection. But what would it look like if our therapy rooms and classrooms were yes spaces too?

What I’ve realized is that when we create a yes space, we're not just making things easier for the child, we're making our work more sustainable too.

Why Yes Spaces Matter for Child-Led Therapy

When you create a yes space, you've already established your boundaries. You've already determined what you feel comfortable with, what's safe, and what's within reason. That means you can use your energy to be fully present with your student and not constantly scanning for danger or hovering to manage behavior.

You're not on guard. You're not anticipating every possible "uh-oh." Your attention can be fully available for connection, for co-regulation, for modeling language from the child's perspective. This is a nervous system regulation strategy, not just for the child, but for you.

I mean, think about it. When our bodies are in a constant state of vigilance and always waiting for what the child's going to do that we'll need to stop, we're operating in a state of stress throughout the entire interaction. No wonder we go home exhausted!

The Three Freedoms of a Child-Led Approach

Over the years, I've developed what I call the Three Freedoms of a child-led approach. In my sessions, kids have:

1. Freedom to choose: what we do, what materials we use, where they sit

2. Freedom to change: their minds, the activity, where they're sitting, what they're doing

3. Freedom to end to stop: take a break, walk away, tell me they're done

Now, I always add this disclaimer: these freedoms exist within reason and when safe. I'm not suggesting chaos. I'm suggesting that we design our spaces so that these freedoms can exist naturally, because the environment itself provides the structure, not our constant control.

Structure Through Environment, Not Control

Most traditional therapy spaces rely on us to provide all the structure. We keep materials in bins behind us. We hold everything in our lap. We decide when things are available. We hold all the power of yes and no. But in a yes space, the structure comes from what's available in the environment and what's not. If something isn't safe or appropriate for the child to explore, it simply doesn't belong in the space.

That's the kind of structure that allows the Three Freedoms to exist.

Creating Your Own Yes Space

Whether you're in a clinic, a classroom, or seeing kids in their homes, here are some questions to help you design or rearrange your space:

1. If a child walked into this space, what would they be drawn to first? Would it be okay for them to explore that? Would it be safe? If not, why not?

2. Are there materials that invite open-ended exploration? Are there things kids can engage with in their own way, without needing step-by-step instructions or adult permission?

3. Do I need to be hovering or really close in proximity for it to feel safe? If yes, that's a sign the space needs adjusting.

4. If I had to step away for 30 seconds, would the child still be safe and engaged? This is a great litmus test for how much of a yes space you've truly created.

5. What message does my space send? Does it communicate that the child can explore and lead, or does it feel like they need to be careful, ask permission, and follow rules?

What If You Can't Control the Space?

I get it. A lot of you are working in classrooms that aren't yours, seeing kids in hallways, or sharing therapy rooms with other providers. You can't always create a perfect yes space. But you can move toward more yes and less no. Even if a full yes space isn't realistic, maybe you can clear one corner or area that's fully accessible. You can put away materials with small pieces or fragile items that would require constant redirection. Maybe you can identify which shelves are free-rein and which aren't and make that clear to your students. You can also remove anything hanging on walls that you'd be upset about if it got ripped or pulled down.

You don't have to overhaul everything at once. Start with one area. Create one space where a child can move freely without hearing "no."

How Yes Spaces Connect to Communication

When kids feel safe to explore, they're naturally more curious, more engaged, and more willing to play with communication. They're more willing to try because the environment isn't working against them. When a child gets to choose something on their own, that tells you what they're interested in. If I'm the only one choosing everything, I don't actually know if it matters to the child.

When we let kids make choices, change their minds, and end things, we create natural communication opportunities. If a child gets up and walks away from me during a session, I have two options. I can either make them come back or I can get curious by letting them go and following them.

By allowing kids to have these freedoms, our language modeling becomes so much easier because we're just following along. We're modeling things like: "I'm all done", “I need a break", "I changed my mind", "I see something I like over there", and "I'm going to go get it". This way, communication isn't something we're prompting or requiring, it's something we're partnering in.

Setting Your Own Boundaries

Here's a reflection exercise for you: What are the moments in your sessions where you find yourself saying no the most?

For me, it's slime. I just can't do slime. And for years, I let slime be part of my therapy life because I thought I had to. Then one day I decided: I'm setting a boundary. Slime is out. Now, I don't have slime sitting out and available because I don't want to have to tell my students no. If slime is out and accessible, why is it there if they can't use it?

Maybe for you it's the constant dumping of little toys all over the floor. Maybe it's messy tactile play. Maybe it's loud toys that overstimulate you. Those are valid boundaries.

If something in your space is going to dysregulate you and pull you out of the moment, then it's worth reconsidering whether it needs to be part of your sessions. Because regulation and connection are the most important factors here and if you can't stay regulated, you can't support your students in the way they need.

Yes spaces are about creating environments where everyone can regulate, where we're not spending all our energy managing behavior or preventing disasters and connection is possible because we've removed the obstacles. Every yes you build into your environment is one less no you have to say out loud. And that shift is what makes child-led speech therapy feel different, lighter, and freer.

If this resonated with you and you're ready to dive deeper into child-led, neuroaffirming strategies for supporting autistic communication, I'd love for you to check out my podcast, Let Them Lead where I chat all things child-led! Click here to listen!

Until next time, keep leading with connection. I'm so proud of you.