Planning for Presence, Not Control: How to Prepare for Child-Led Therapy (Without Over-Planning)
ou’ve probably heard it before:
“Just follow the child’s lead.”
It sounds beautiful — and it is.
But let’s be real… walking into a session with zero prep and just “seeing what happens”? That doesn’t usually end well.
So here’s the truth:
Child-led doesn’t mean passive. And it definitely doesn’t mean unprepared.
In fact, the most powerful child-led sessions are often the most intentionally planned.
We just plan differently.
From Control to Connection: What We’re Really Planning
In traditional models, we’re taught to prep materials, write out targets, and script our steps.
But in child-led therapy, we plan:
How we’ll respond
What we’ll notice
How we’ll support regulation, not redirect behavior
We prepare for presence, not performance.
How I Prepare for Child-Led Sessions (Without Over-Planning)
Let’s break it down into three key areas of prep that make all the difference.
1. Prepare the Environment
Your space is your co-therapist.
Before a child walks in, ask:
Are the lights too harsh?
Are the shelves visually cluttered?
Is there background noise that might overwhelm?
Then make adjustments:
Keep familiar, low-pressure toys within reach
Offer open-ended materials (like water play or pretend food)
Have sensory tools ready, without requiring their use
Pro Tip: Everything in the room is an option, not a plan. You’re not creating a sequence — you’re creating a space where the child can lead.
2. Prepare Yourself
This might be the most important part.
Ask yourself:
“Do I feel grounded?”
“What do I need to stay regulated?”
“Am I ready to slow down and follow?”
If you’re dysregulated, rushed, or depleted, your ability to be present — really present — goes out the window.
I’ve worked jobs where I wasn’t allowed to call out sick and had to push through 10-hour therapy days without time to eat or use the bathroom.
That’s not just unsustainable.
It’s unsafe — for us and the kids we support.
Child-led therapy asks us to co-regulate.
And that starts with our own nervous system.
3. Prepare Your Intention, Not Your Agenda
Before the session starts, I take 30 seconds to set an intention:
“Today, I want to notice and honor all bids for joint attention.”
“I’m going to model one AAC phrase that fits the play — and leave plenty of silence.”
Noticing. Modeling. Pausing.
These are the skills we build when we prepare to support, not to control.
The Mindset Shift That Changed Everything
Instead of asking “What do I want the child to do?”
I now ask, “What do I want to be ready to do?”
That might look like:
Modeling language the child could use to protest, comment, or request
Being ready to narrate what the child’s body is already communicating
Offering a sensory strategy that aligns with the child’s cues
We’re not winging it. We’re preparing for flexibility, responsiveness, and trust.
When You Feel Stuck
Even with all the prep in the world, sessions will feel stuck sometimes.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
Try this:
Pause and breathe.
Name what you notice: “You stopped playing.” “That looked like too much.”
Check the 3 Freedoms: Can the child choose, change, or end what’s happening?
Remember — connection is still happening, even when communication isn’t obvious.
Your Next Step
As you prep for your next session, ask yourself:
What supports can I prepare that center connection?
How can I anchor myself in presence?
What would it look like to trust the child in front of me even more?
Want more guidance on this shift?
🎧 Listen to the full episode of Let Them Lead on Apple or Spotify,
or check out The Great Language Partner Program — my flagship course for professionals who are ready to ditch the script and lead with connection.
